Or something


‘Yeah, mum tells me that story all the time.’

‘Where the old guy sews some bullshit rainbow or some shit?’

‘Yeah, and where the yellow from the rainbow turns the rivers into gold?’

‘Yeah, that’s awesome. I can’t believe your mum tells the same story.’

‘All the time, man. And what’s with that river of gold, right?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You know, where you can’t actually use the gold?’


‘You can’t use it. You just drink and pee it out like water.’


‘You’re mum didn’t tell you that bit?’

‘No. What the fuck is the point of a whole river of gold if you can’t fucking get rich off of it?’

‘Dunno. When mum tells it she says it like it’s some kind of achievement.’

‘What, that you can’t use the gold?’


‘That’s fucking rubbish. What kind of story is that?’

‘It’s supposed to be a…ah, fuck, I can’t remember what she called it.’


‘Shut up, I’m trying to…ah, fuck, it starts with a ‘p’.’

‘Who cares. It’s a shit story that parents tell their kids so that we…I don’t even know what. I mean, what’s this story trying to tell us, that we can drink from rivers as long as we pee afterwards? Fucking bullshit.’

‘It’s like para…paraly…para something.’

‘You mean parable?’

‘Yes! Parable! That’s the word. What’s that?’

‘It’s some bullshit story filled with bullshit old men and bullshit gold that nobody can use.’

‘Nah, it’s a story with a message or something, I think.’

‘You think.’

‘Yeah, I’m pretty sure.’

‘Alright dickhead. What’s the message of this story?’

‘Um…that we don’t need gold?’

‘And do we need gold?’


‘I mean in real life. Do we need gold.’

‘You mean like money or something?’

‘Yes, you idiot, like money. Or something.’

‘Um…I guess.’

‘You guess?’

‘Yeah, well, we obviously need money.’

‘So what does that say about the message of this story then?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘What kind of twisted fuck gives you a riverful of gold and then doesn’t let you touch it?’

‘I think he’s meant to be god.’


‘That’s what mum said.’


‘The old guy. I think he’s god.’

‘What’s that got to do with anything?’

‘I don’t think the gold is actually supposed to be gold. The way mum tells it the gold is like love or something. He turns the river into gold because that way his love can be everywhere. We can bathe in it, drink from it, grow our crops from it.’

‘That’s disgusting. Is your mum saying that our piss is god’s love?’

‘Er…I don’t think she ever put it like that…’

‘This is the most disgusting parable I’ve ever heard.’

‘And you’re supposed to actually pee out more gold than you drink I think.’


‘You’re supp– ’

‘This story has more fucking twists than a bag of snakes. Are you sure you’ve got it right?’

‘Yeah, course I’m sure.’

‘Really? You sure your mum hasn’t just embellished the fuck out of a perfectly run of the mill bullshit story?’

‘Fuck off. I’ve heard my aunt tell it as well.’

‘Maybe it runs in the family.’

‘Fuck you man. Maybe it’s your mum who doesn’t know how to tell a pa…’


‘Fuck. You.’

‘Alright, alright. So what does you mum think is the message behind the story?’

‘It’s like I said. That we don’t need gold.’

‘And that we just need love?’


‘And what was it that I said?’

‘That we do need gold.’

‘So what does that say about the message behind this story?’

‘Nah, but you don’t look at it like that. The message is telling you what we should be like. Not what we are like.’

‘So we should not need money?’

‘Yeah, and we should just let it just wash through us. And if we do that we will actually end up with more than we had in the first place.’

‘So that’s the bit in the story where we pee more love than we drink?’


‘Who gets to keep the excess?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Where does all the extra pee go?’

‘I dunno, back into the river?’

‘Back into the river?’


‘So what you’re telling me is that everyone is peeing more into this river than they are drinking out from it?’

‘Yeah, I guess.’

‘Won’t the river flood?’


‘The river. Won’t it flood? Won’t this gold love piss soup flow over and drown the poor dehydrated fucks around it?’

‘Ok alright, fine you asshole. It probably gets taken away then.’

‘Taken away?’

Yeah, the extra bits.’


‘I dunno.’

‘Who takes it?’

‘Fuck off man, it’s just a story alright? It’s not supposed to make sense.’

‘So it’s not supposed to make sense. But we’re supposed to follow its message?’

‘Oh for fuck’s sake.’

‘What? I’m just trying to get the story straight.’

‘The old man probably takes it.’

‘He takes it?’

‘I dunno, I’m just making shit up.’

‘So he gives you a river of gold, tell you that you can’t take any of it for yourself, but then gets you to drink it and then pee out more, and then takes it all?’

‘I don’t fucking know, alright. It’s just something my mum tells me when she’s trying to tell me that we don’t need gold.’

‘Alright, alright, fine. Calm the fuck down you loser.’

‘Maybe he doesn’t take it, alright? Maybe he just stores it.’

‘Stores it?’

‘Yeah, you know, for later. When we need it or something.’

‘Yeah of course, for later. Or something.’

DP 1000 word challenge


One thought on “Or something”

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